OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
