like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
