have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
