I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
