Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
