nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
