I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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