My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
