Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
