Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize