I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize