they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
