I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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