Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
