I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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