well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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