I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
