I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
