Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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