I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize