R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
