new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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