Just fell off a train. Bad.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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