Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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