I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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