I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
