if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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