it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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