id be glad to
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I hope mine doesn't look like that
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
