Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
this just has baby written all over it
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
