Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
