I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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