When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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