Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
