white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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