So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
