shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
