whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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