I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
