I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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