That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Screwed.edu
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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