no, he came in my armpit
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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