If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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