so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
