Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
