everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We had to coat check the pizza.
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Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
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Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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