took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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