definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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