K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
