I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
