Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
