we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
