So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Blood and glitter go together right?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
