Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
