he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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