Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize