It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
