wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize