I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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