I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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