ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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