cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
