I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
